Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
