i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How naked do you want me to be?
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