let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
