with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
