Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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