The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
