a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
