HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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