Three words: puerto rican gang bang
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
