I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
And then he peed in my hair
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