Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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