Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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