Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My vagina just recognized that song.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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