Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
