I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
