Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
