You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
