All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
