your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
