Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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