I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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