i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
please come you make the beer taste better
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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