I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
