I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
