i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
