At least make sure they are 18
Why
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
