I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
