Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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