Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
