When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
