"it" just moved
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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