My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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