There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
