Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
