then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
