Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
