You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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