Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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