Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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