I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
