Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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