Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
