Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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