i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize