Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
