he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
