She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
