Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
