its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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