u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
