bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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